Thursday, November 29, 2007

Alabama Baby Says Hallelujah!

So...Daisy ponders....what's up with all the celebrities namin' their offspring after my fair state? First it was that turd Travis Barker and his girlfriend/wife, Shanna Moakler (you know, the one with the impeccable, feminine Southern manners, like fist fighting). Now its Shooter Jennings and Drea de Matteo. De Matteo? I never met no De Matteo growin' up. Odums, yes. Murphrees, yes. Huh? Have these people ever even been to the state? How do they claim it for their own? I betcha they never had BBQ at Archibalds. I bet they never been to the Zelda Fitzgerald museum. I bet they couldn't tell you what makes a Milo's cheeseburger so special. I bet they don't even know what fine mineable product brought whitey down from Charleston either. And now when I have my trio of illegitimate children named, respectively, Cassidy, Manassas, and 'Bama Jack and we're roaming the countryside in a large four door Ford pick-up people are going to think I copied some stupid celebrity baby Alabama who gets to eat mango/pomegranate hand pressed baby food in LA and get breast implants 20 years too soon. Maybe Cassidy, Manassas, 'Bama Jack and I will just drive by their mansions and pelt hunks of cheese grits at them. At least precious little Alabama can prove my point when she licks some off her lips and goes, "What's this?" 'Bama Jack and I will think that is REAL funny. We might even have to get out the camera.

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