Nothing makes me, Daisy, more self-righteous about how a girl should be treated in a relationship than not being in one myself. And since I'm saddling up to month four of the Daisy Drawler Celibacy Tour of 2008 I've got a lot to say.
I was sitting in a bar last week with two friends, one newish, one brand spankin' new. Both are good looking girls, smart, funny, etc and both were telling me about how their boyfriends were not treating them very well. They never said they weren't being treated very well out right. They said things like, "Well, I wish he would do this" or "Why isn't he doing that". Bottom line, dear reader, because oh sweet holy heaven have I been there, their boyfriends, bless their little hearts, were being assholes.
Why o! why do we girls allow ourselves to be treated like this? You wouldn't let your friends treat you this way. If you friend said, "Let's hang out tonight, I'll call you later" and then never did you would call them and say, "What the hell?" If your friend said, "I'm not quite sure I like being with you" you wouldn't moan and groan and wonder why they don't like you. You would feel a little sad, realize you have other friends and move on. Not sit in a bar and ask a whiskey how you could morph yourself into something they did like.
Dear readers, I can preach like this because I have been there. Too. Many. Times. I'm not even going to say that I'm not going to be there again. I'm just going to give a little Relationships Anonymous prayer that, "I will accept the things I cannot change and work on those that I can" and hope that the next go around I will stand up for myself a little more than I did the last time.
The feminist movement gave us a lot of things: the ability to have our own jobs, money, security, etc. but I think somehow all that inspiring self-esteem we were supposed to get from being independent somehow morphed into still needing a boy's approval of our looks, our coolness, and our f*ckability. Why this is, I'm not quite sure but God only knows how many times I've sat back and not said anything to a boyfriend about their behavior or something they've said because I didn't want to seem lame (this is, of course, when sober- when drunk I usually say exactly what's on my mind).
But the sad truth is instead of thinking about how there are other guys out there for me I'll think about how there are plenty of other girls out there for him: girls willing to give it up to any available loser (including my boyfriend) to boost their self-esteem and so I sit back and think, "What could I have done differently?" and continue to be 1)forgotten at a bar 2) told that I just wasn't fun enough 3)forgotten at the home we both lived in (do you see a pattern here? your boyfriend should probably not forget about you while walking from your bedroom to the livingroom)
So this is a plea to all the girls out there currently in not so good relationships. Think about what you want, think about how you should be treated, and don't waste one more moment not getting what you need. Everybody is worth having someone love them and treat them well, don't waste your time on those that don't. And don't hurt your fellow girls in the process. We should help each other out, not compete and backstab our way to the top of the boyfriend bedpost.
At the end of the day it's all about what I like to call Tab A/ Slot B....They have Tab A, don't give 'em Slot B for less than YOU are worth.