Friday, October 28, 2011

Temper Tantrums

A couple of days ago my inner toddler really came out to play. And by play I mean kick, scream, and wallow. I probably should have wailed but I didn't think to do that - I was too mired in self-pity.

I learned yesterday that I'll probably have to go gluten-free for the extended future as well. So meat-free, dairy-free, gluten-free, and sugar-free is my life for the forseeable future. I worry most of my meals will be taste-free as well. Oh and did I mention it's supposed to be oil-free as well. I just can't face that yet. Try a large salad every day without an oil based dressing.

My toddler was screaming with all of it's might: I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL! I WANT TO EAT NORMAL FOOD!

So I went out to dinner and ate a vegan meal but had bread and some wine. Then the next day I went to the UVA vs. Miami tailgate and had some mixed drinks and ate some chicken fingers and some nachos. It was so good, so fun, and made me so happy to be "normal" if only for a couple of hours that I don't even feel guilty for it.  So maybe my new motto will be to eat as strictly as possible with a few little normalcy break moments in order to not sink into a great depression. I'm in a much better mood to head out for the dr's office than I think I would be if I hadn't had fun the night before.

As usual I'm learning this is a process. I'm a fan of quick fixes and after two years of struggle, I'm learning true change is pretty slow. But at least I'm on the path.

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