|Happy. Even missing some teeth.|
1) If I'm positive about something things will turn out badly - I don't want to be wrong/something is out to get me.
2) I won't be prepared if something goes wrong - I don't want to be caught off guard
3) I'll look silly, be perceived as a Pollyana - I want to be cool
4) It's easier to look on the negative side (and often more fun if gossip is involved) than to be positive.
My husband, on the other hand, practically simmers over with positivity. He looks at most everything through a happy filter. Which most of the time is great! He is fun to be with and always uplifting. As my dad said, "If you guys ever broke up I think I might go with Jeff- he is just so positive". Thanks dad.
I would like to be a more positive person (which means I'll probably have to work on my pesky anxiety issues as well) but for the past two years I've gotten nothing but bad news from doctors. Yesterday was no different. Bad news again. Looks like I didn't start eating healthy soon enough. More tests. More doctors. More doctors who don't communicate with each other. More tests.
It's incredibly depressing. It breeds constant fear and anxiety. And of course my husband is positive about it all. Which I would say is 1/8 annoying and the rest inspiring. It is nice to hear someone say, "everything will work out" although really nothing is working out.
But sometimes I just want to wallow and be serious, a low scream of why me's? coming out of my mouth on repeat. Because, seriously, why me? And then the husband says something like, "See that guy over there- he doesn't have a hand. Think about it. You have two hands."
Very true. Very annoyingly, positively true. But WHY ME? (again)
I'm trying to discover a way to get past the wallow and the seriousness (and it's always there ready to consume you) and move into the sunshine land, join hands with my husband, and we can skip merrily along on a candy path. But I haven't found it yet. When I find out, I'll let you know. Then I can be that scarily positive human always looking on the bright side to annoy you, inspire you, and get you out of your funk.
This week I'm trying: positive affirmations and running.