Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Daisy Predicts: The Year 2039
Daisy predicts that soon, much to soon, we will all have to bow down to the ruling family of the time. It won't be the Bush's, or the Clinton's, or even the Gate's, Job's, what-have-you. Instead we will all be scraping our knees for: The Spears. Due to the prolific wombs of the two Spears girls combined with the atomic powers of K-Fed's sperm, by the year 2039 that gives the two original Spears a chance to have, say, ten babies in ten years apiece with each little Spears (Team B) producing ten more babies a year from the time they are sixteen on, then Team C having the same results- Lord knows they will take over the world, breeding like rabid rabbits! What might this world look like you ask: Cheetoes for every meal, Grande Vanilla Frappucino's on every corner, and tiny dogs in tiny outfits from WalMart. F**k it-- Wal-Mart will be the only store allowed. The super kind with dirty, crying toddlers being pulled by a woman in 4XXX pants down the Cheetoes aisle. No one will be allowed to wear underwear and you must undergo a ritual shaving of your head every year with accompanying weaves added in (again, from Wal-Mart). Those in the higher ranks will be rewarded for how many ways they can tattoo a different kind of heart on their body and how long they can talk only in quotes from Crossroads, while the supreme leaders themselves will wear matching velour jumpsuits with plastic flip-flops, wielding power with foot crushing silver mercedes with plush red interior. Get prepared people. We are all about to be back-up dancers in a giant I'm A Slave for U world.