What puts me off marriage the most.....

Is married men.

One has only to experience the married man once or twice when he is away from his wife, his face like a dog released from his post in the yard, to really put a crimp in all your marriage is bliss fantasies.

This past weekend I was in the lovely RVA visiting my bro, eatin' some din din, and, of course, drinking our weight in wine. Over the course of the night I met what my friend calls, "The Holy Trinity of Grope," three of the gropiest, flirtiest men I have ever encountered- two of which were married.

After a quick dance where I was spun around and asked, "Do you like to lead the men you date as well?" (Good question, I might've heard that one before) I spent the rest of the night avoiding: avoiding having my waist clasped, avoiding having my legs brushed by a wayward hand, avoiding a hand being placed on my back. I must have looked like a spastic worm as I finagled around the room.

Finally I was cornered by one of the married dudes where we discussed, among other things, how I was projecting that I was not interested in dating anyone at the moment. No shit! And then we discussed (using words culled from the tantric/yoga lexicon) how when men are hurt they try to find solace in sex while women are not interested in sex until their heart heals. No shit (reprise)! Then he tried to set me up with his friend in New York so I could have a fling before I officially moved. Um, just no, not terribly interested.

Today, back in NYC, my friend just told me that she made out with this guy at a bar and when she asked him how old he was he responded, "I'm 42, married, and with two kids." Uh whah?

After watching MadMen, experiencing The Holy Trinity of Grope, and my friend's story- living a life totally devoid of marriage seems like a completely worthwhile goal.

If we could just solve that pesky loneliness factor- life would be smooth sailing. Until then I just wish I could find a worthy sailor.