Monday, February 11, 2013

Putting the Goat Mouth on It

I have a friend who is half Jamaican half Chinese.

This is really neither here nor there in importance to the story - I just find it an interesting fact.

Anyhoo- as we were speeding uncomfortably fast to NYC one summer (him at the wheel) I noticed that there were not many cops on the road and I said as such out loud.

He then chastised me for "putting the goat mouth on it."

At least I think that's what he said. He isn't on facebook and I lost his phone number so there is no way to check.

Basically it's a Jamaican way of saying: you just ruined our good luck, jerk.

And sure enough, no more than 5 minutes after saying this there was a cop at every intersection.

This was at least 7 years ago and I STILL fear the goat mouth. And for good reason.

The goat mouth has been especially active with this pregnancy. Anytime I start feeling better JTS will comment, "You are having a really great day!"

And sure enough I will spend all night in the bathroom.

But now I've noticed that the goat mouth can be put on it because of thoughts alone.
It must be the power of intention.

After a few good days in a row where I'm eating and living life almost (almost) like a normal person I think, "This isn't so bad, I could maybe do this again." Then BLAMMO. Three days back to back of misery and hours spent shuffling between the bed and the bathroom. Thank you goat. I am reminded.

So head my warning dear readers and marvel at the power of the goat mouth. It is real and like a braying, furry Freddy Kruger it will invade even your most secretest inner soul.

This has not been a good week.

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